River Lessons

          I just had the privilege of kayaking on a trip organized by Shane Benedict of Liquidlogic and Betsy Towns, two wonderful generous artists (both of whom will be interviewed later on this blog).  I had done a few rafting trips before, one roughly fifteen years ago and one almost twenty-five, but I had never been in a kayak.  We spent two days on a “wild and scenic” part of the Chattooga River which serves as the border of Georgia and South Carolina.

The group included ten adults, several of whom were long-time paddlers and guides, and nine children ages 4 to 10.  It was fascinating to watch the experts teach, take care of, coax, correct, console, and inspire the kids (and novice adults like me).  And, as we went along, it was impossible not to have a half-dozen, not very deep, but basic thoughts, including:

The River Will Go Where It Goes.  You can make choices, and you can take certain actions, but the river is going its way.  You can work with the current or around it, but if you fight it, don’t expect to win because...

The River Is Stronger Than You.  If you stand on the bottom or put your hand in to push off, you might be able to accomplish what you want, but don’t think it’s because you’re stronger.  It can take you down in a second.  It has toppled huge trees and tossed them high onto granite ledges.  It has worn through layers of rock, and, speaking of,...

There’s No Point in Cursing a Rock.  I spent a lot of time hung up on rocks and trying not to get hung up about them.  Similarly, my six-year old son kept finding himself stuck or jammed up, and he would cry, “Again?  Oh man!  Stupid rock!”  The rock has been there for centuries before our arrival and will be there for a long time afterwards.  Swearing at it does little good although it can be a logical response when you’re heading right for it because...

The River Is An Exercise in Managing Adrenaline and Anxiety, Fear and Frustration.  As I watched my children zigzag back and forth, I realized that as they learned to control their boats, they also were learning how to control themselves – both their bodies and their emotions.  They wanted to be good right away.  They wanted to be fast and smooth, and they were frustrated at their lack of skills.  They also found themselves scared at moments.  The first time my daughter tipped over, she came up crying.  The second time, however, she came up laughing.  Simultaneously, as we parents watched our kids, we were learning how to control our fear.  My son fell out of his boat, and my first reaction was to jerk towards him which meant I fell out of mine.  Now, instead of one person in the water, there was two.  I hadn’t helped him, couldn’t help him, and had made matters worse.  Luckily, I wasn’t needed because there was a calm, experienced adult, paying attention, ready to fish my son out because the guides knew...

The River Takes Planning and Preparation (if you want it to be rewarding). Shane and the other paddlers would scout out parts that would be challenging, plan routes, and station themselves to be ready if people got in trouble.  In fact, they had planned the entire trip this way, sending maps, arranging food, bringing boats and gear.  They not only had equipment and clothing for themselves, but for others, and they willingly shared it.  My family ended up borrowing gear from several people to stay warm because we weren’t ready for a day of near constant rain.   And, as we went along, the group willingly and  generously stopped if someone needed to change or make adjustments.  No one was rushed.   No one was made to feel like they were imposing or doing something wrong.  Perhaps it’s because the guides understood and we learned...

Going Back Is Usually Impossible (and even when it’s not, it’s probably not worth it).  There are times when you can’t stop no matter how much you may want to, so stop when you can, and when you can’t, keep going and try not to tip over.


There is much to be learned from a river.