1) You write poetry? Oh, that's nice. Good for you.
2) I used to write poetry…when I was young.
3) You should make a poem out of this.
4) Do you do any other writing? Any real writing?
5) How much money do you make from poetry?
6) There was a poem I read in school once that I liked, but most of it…oh, man…wtf.
7) I just wrote this. Could you read it real quick and tell me what you think?
8) Could you give me your email or address? I want to send you some work and then you can tell me where I can get it published.
9) I really want to buy your book but I’m not going to right now because: I already bought a book/I left my wallet in the car/I’m hoping to find it at Ed McKay’s/unless you buy mine…
10) Do you think song lyrics are poetry? I mean what about: Dylan/Jim Morrison/rap...
11) You should write poems for weddings. People listen to them.
12) But you look so normal.
And a bonus
12) Do you know Billy Collins? Now, he’s good. You should send him your stuff.